Kevin Costner Refused to be on the Same Stage with Whoopi Goldberg at the Oscars

“The set manager said ‘It’s Whoopi’ and within about half a second, Costner said, ‘Oh hell no.’ He handed the envelope to Cheryl and went back to his seat.

Cheryl, who really had nothing to do with anything, handed the envelope to the next closest person, who happened to be Keanu Reeves.”

Keanu took the envelope, handed it to Joe Barron, and followed Costner back to his seat.

“When you can’t even get Keanu Reeves to present your award,” said Barron, “There’s a good chance you should just retire. He’s like…the nicest guy alive. He told me handing her the award would put a target on his back at the marina. He doesn’t even go to the marina.”

At first glance, the story makes no sense. It’s almost as though we did this with Keanu already and it went so well that we figured we’d drop another fave they think is on their side and see what happens.

Anyway, good for you, Costner and Keanu. You’ve kept this nonsense alive for yet another day. God Bless America.